How is everyone out in bloggerland and the outerlying lands of bloggerton? So yes, just wanted to say hello.
HELLO
I'm done. Adios, muchachos.
P.S. People bother me. Muchly and suchish. That is all.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
A Nice Little Pointless Rant
This is probably gonna sound all whiny and junk, but I'll type it anyhow.
My mother doesn't quite know what she's doing. I mean, well...you'll understand.
She stresses herself out, for one, and she does everything she does for the wrong reasons.
For instance:
-She went to Ladoga and bought a house. Why? Two reasons: One, to get out of her family's grasp, and two, so Randy would marry her.
-She bought a fixer-upper, even when she said she didn't want one. Why? God, who knows?
-She recently decided to put new siding on the house. Why? Because Randy wouldn't move in otherwise.
-She is looking for a bigger shed so she can build Randy a workshop. Why? Because Randy won't move in otherwise.
Are we catching a pattern here? Yes...Randy.
Not that I mind Randy, of course. But after 13 years, you'd think they would either be married, or something. But no. They met 13 years ago this Friday, and for not quite half of that, they've been engaged. But I highly doubt that marriage is any part of their future, sadly. She's giving too much and he's taking it all without even having asked for it. What does he give back? Only what he'd told to give by Mom. Does this sound like the perfect couple for marriage? Not to me.
Now, to my brother. He acts just like his redneck, white trash, uneducated swine of a father. He treats Mom just like his dad did. A little memo: His dad once forced Mom to scrub the kitchen floor with a toothbrush because she didn't make his dinner the way he liked it. Yes, my brother is behaving the same way. For example:
-He and Mom agreed to share responsibilities, he does laundry and take out the trash, and she cleans and does the dishes. Sounds fair, no? Well...
-He starts the laundry and leaves it for her to dry and fold. He says it's because she doesn't do the dishes every day, so he shouldn't have to finish the laundry.
-He screams at her and calls her an idiot when she makes tea, because it's not the way he likes it.
-He screams at her for having nothing to eat except big dinner things, even though he says he can cook.
BUT these things aren't what has been really bothering me lately. What's been bothering me is that once again I am the low blow on the totem pole. Like, I'm the least important one. Examples:
-My birthday party, that Mom said I could have 3 weeks beforehand, was put on the back burner for a short while because my brother had to take his written test for his license. Which they decided on 3 DAYS prior. I still got my party, but Mom complained almost the whole time.
-I had an eye appointment that Mom told me to set up for around 5 the Tuesday prior to the party. The very same day I made the appointment, my brother complained about his coughing. SO, Mom called the doctor and made an appointment for 5:45 the same night. From home, our doctor is almost an hour away. which means that his appointment got priority over my own. She had forgotten about my appointment, and decided quickly to have her friend take me instead, so I was an hour early to my appointment. (Which was in WalMart, mind you.) And I was there for 3 hours AFTER my appointment.
-Mom said she'd help make me a cloak for the movie. On Friday, Mom said we'd work on it then. But she decided to spend all day in town instead, and was too tired to deal with it. Then, she said that since she didn't have to go to Share Food today, we'd get it done today. Well, she wouldn't listen to me when I told her how the pattern worked, and we had to go into town to ask Mrs. Burris how it worked. Which is how I said it was done. Then, we got one piece cut out, and Randy called saying he was home and that they could go to Brownsburg. So, Mom left, telling me to finish cutting out the second piece and that we'd finish it on Monday and she would sew it up at home.
I love my mother, but enough is enough.
My mother doesn't quite know what she's doing. I mean, well...you'll understand.
She stresses herself out, for one, and she does everything she does for the wrong reasons.
For instance:
-She went to Ladoga and bought a house. Why? Two reasons: One, to get out of her family's grasp, and two, so Randy would marry her.
-She bought a fixer-upper, even when she said she didn't want one. Why? God, who knows?
-She recently decided to put new siding on the house. Why? Because Randy wouldn't move in otherwise.
-She is looking for a bigger shed so she can build Randy a workshop. Why? Because Randy won't move in otherwise.
Are we catching a pattern here? Yes...Randy.
Not that I mind Randy, of course. But after 13 years, you'd think they would either be married, or something. But no. They met 13 years ago this Friday, and for not quite half of that, they've been engaged. But I highly doubt that marriage is any part of their future, sadly. She's giving too much and he's taking it all without even having asked for it. What does he give back? Only what he'd told to give by Mom. Does this sound like the perfect couple for marriage? Not to me.
Now, to my brother. He acts just like his redneck, white trash, uneducated swine of a father. He treats Mom just like his dad did. A little memo: His dad once forced Mom to scrub the kitchen floor with a toothbrush because she didn't make his dinner the way he liked it. Yes, my brother is behaving the same way. For example:
-He and Mom agreed to share responsibilities, he does laundry and take out the trash, and she cleans and does the dishes. Sounds fair, no? Well...
-He starts the laundry and leaves it for her to dry and fold. He says it's because she doesn't do the dishes every day, so he shouldn't have to finish the laundry.
-He screams at her and calls her an idiot when she makes tea, because it's not the way he likes it.
-He screams at her for having nothing to eat except big dinner things, even though he says he can cook.
BUT these things aren't what has been really bothering me lately. What's been bothering me is that once again I am the low blow on the totem pole. Like, I'm the least important one. Examples:
-My birthday party, that Mom said I could have 3 weeks beforehand, was put on the back burner for a short while because my brother had to take his written test for his license. Which they decided on 3 DAYS prior. I still got my party, but Mom complained almost the whole time.
-I had an eye appointment that Mom told me to set up for around 5 the Tuesday prior to the party. The very same day I made the appointment, my brother complained about his coughing. SO, Mom called the doctor and made an appointment for 5:45 the same night. From home, our doctor is almost an hour away. which means that his appointment got priority over my own. She had forgotten about my appointment, and decided quickly to have her friend take me instead, so I was an hour early to my appointment. (Which was in WalMart, mind you.) And I was there for 3 hours AFTER my appointment.
-Mom said she'd help make me a cloak for the movie. On Friday, Mom said we'd work on it then. But she decided to spend all day in town instead, and was too tired to deal with it. Then, she said that since she didn't have to go to Share Food today, we'd get it done today. Well, she wouldn't listen to me when I told her how the pattern worked, and we had to go into town to ask Mrs. Burris how it worked. Which is how I said it was done. Then, we got one piece cut out, and Randy called saying he was home and that they could go to Brownsburg. So, Mom left, telling me to finish cutting out the second piece and that we'd finish it on Monday and she would sew it up at home.
I love my mother, but enough is enough.
Friday, May 22, 2009
A Wandering Minstrel, I
So, his name is Lancelot, and it's springtime for Hitler. The Knights of the Round Table have been doing what they're able, but someone cried "Murder, murder!"
"This is the moment!" cried one knight.
"This is the time!" bellowed another.
The knights ran to their horses and, like a comet turned from orbit, hurried off in search of the killer. Soon, they came upon a young girl named Joanna.
"Any miiiiilk today, mistress?" She sang an old woman who was passing by. The woman hurried along without uttering a word. Joanna then saw the knights.
"Ripe! Strawberries ripe!" she said to them.
"I'd rather have a green finch and linnet bird sandwich," said one of the knights.
"Nightingale? Blackbird?" she sang.
"How is it you sing?!?!" Lancelot asked incredulously.
Joanna shrugged and skipped away. As she skipped away, one knight watched her and smoke began to pour out of his ears. The other knights looked at him. One knight whispered to another:
"Suddenly, the wheels are in motion..."
The knights continued into a woods, where they met a small girl. The girl saw them and, with a face full of cinnamon rolls, began to sing to them.
"Into the woods! Into the woods! And home before dark!"
Of course, it came out as, "Enoo eh wooz, enoo eh wooz, en ho behfer dun!"
Lancelot took out his sword and, screaming, "Hot patootie, bless my soul!", struck down the girl, believing she was possessed. The knights moved on.
Suddenly they were ambushed by a band of vicious poets.
"Oh no!" cried a knight.
"Find your grail," said one vicious poet...viciously.
"Find my what?" asked Lancelot.
"Your grail," said another vicious poet. Once again, vicioiusly.
"Where can I find it?" asked Lancelot.
"On a central square--" said one poet.
"In the city of the sun--" began another.
"Rose! A palace!" screamed a third poet.
Rose, the head poet, looked up and, sure enough, there was a palace rising in the middle of the forest. They all walked into it. Once they were inside, they saw a bunch of people dancing around a dead witch.
"What is going on?" asked Lancelot.
"Good news! She's dead!" screamed the crowd.
"Who?" asked Rose.
"The witch of the west is dead!" screamed the crowd.
Suddenly, a blonde woman in a oversized glittery dress floated down and began to giggle wildly while waving a magic wand and belting operatics. Lancelot, Rose, the knights and the poets looked at each other in bewilderment.
"If we all move backward slowly and quietly, they won't notice us leave..." whispered Lancelot.
They do exactly that.
"What was the point of this adventure?" asked one of the knights.
"I don't remember anymore," said Lancelot. "But I have an idea. Let's all get married!"
The knights and the poets coupled up and married, except for those that were both men, because there were more men than women. They made it a point to move far away and become pen pals instead. And this was the story of the pointless adventure of the Knights of the Round Table and the Vicious poets and how they married and became the first politicians.
THE END
*The italicized parts are either Broadway song titles or lyrics. In order of phrase:
-Spamalot
-The Producers
-Spamalot
-Jekyll & Hyde
-Jekyll & Hyde
-Jekyll & Hyde
-Wicked
-Oliver
-Oliver
-Sweeney Todd
-Sweeney Todd
-Sweeney Todd
-Xanadu
-Into The Woods
-The Rocky Horror Show
-Spamalot
-The Light In The Piazza
-The Light In The Piazza
-The Light In The Piazza
-Wicked
-Wicked
"This is the moment!" cried one knight.
"This is the time!" bellowed another.
The knights ran to their horses and, like a comet turned from orbit, hurried off in search of the killer. Soon, they came upon a young girl named Joanna.
"Any miiiiilk today, mistress?" She sang an old woman who was passing by. The woman hurried along without uttering a word. Joanna then saw the knights.
"Ripe! Strawberries ripe!" she said to them.
"I'd rather have a green finch and linnet bird sandwich," said one of the knights.
"Nightingale? Blackbird?" she sang.
"How is it you sing?!?!" Lancelot asked incredulously.
Joanna shrugged and skipped away. As she skipped away, one knight watched her and smoke began to pour out of his ears. The other knights looked at him. One knight whispered to another:
"Suddenly, the wheels are in motion..."
The knights continued into a woods, where they met a small girl. The girl saw them and, with a face full of cinnamon rolls, began to sing to them.
"Into the woods! Into the woods! And home before dark!"
Of course, it came out as, "Enoo eh wooz, enoo eh wooz, en ho behfer dun!"
Lancelot took out his sword and, screaming, "Hot patootie, bless my soul!", struck down the girl, believing she was possessed. The knights moved on.
Suddenly they were ambushed by a band of vicious poets.
"Oh no!" cried a knight.
"Find your grail," said one vicious poet...viciously.
"Find my what?" asked Lancelot.
"Your grail," said another vicious poet. Once again, vicioiusly.
"Where can I find it?" asked Lancelot.
"On a central square--" said one poet.
"In the city of the sun--" began another.
"Rose! A palace!" screamed a third poet.
Rose, the head poet, looked up and, sure enough, there was a palace rising in the middle of the forest. They all walked into it. Once they were inside, they saw a bunch of people dancing around a dead witch.
"What is going on?" asked Lancelot.
"Good news! She's dead!" screamed the crowd.
"Who?" asked Rose.
"The witch of the west is dead!" screamed the crowd.
Suddenly, a blonde woman in a oversized glittery dress floated down and began to giggle wildly while waving a magic wand and belting operatics. Lancelot, Rose, the knights and the poets looked at each other in bewilderment.
"If we all move backward slowly and quietly, they won't notice us leave..." whispered Lancelot.
They do exactly that.
"What was the point of this adventure?" asked one of the knights.
"I don't remember anymore," said Lancelot. "But I have an idea. Let's all get married!"
The knights and the poets coupled up and married, except for those that were both men, because there were more men than women. They made it a point to move far away and become pen pals instead. And this was the story of the pointless adventure of the Knights of the Round Table and the Vicious poets and how they married and became the first politicians.
THE END
*The italicized parts are either Broadway song titles or lyrics. In order of phrase:
-Spamalot
-The Producers
-Spamalot
-Jekyll & Hyde
-Jekyll & Hyde
-Jekyll & Hyde
-Wicked
-Oliver
-Oliver
-Sweeney Todd
-Sweeney Todd
-Sweeney Todd
-Xanadu
-Into The Woods
-The Rocky Horror Show
-Spamalot
-The Light In The Piazza
-The Light In The Piazza
-The Light In The Piazza
-Wicked
-Wicked
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
There Once Was A Pickle
This post will have nothing to do with it's title. I just wanted to say 'ello and sorry I haven't blogged in forever!! So yeah. See ya!
Preston
Preston
Monday, December 1, 2008
College Life
So, ok, I go to Indiana State University. It's pretty pimp, except that like the people who run it are money hungry bastards who don't seem to care about the lower class people with no money. Other than that though, I like it. I have some new friends, so that's awesome. Also, I'm in a play AND my play that I wrote is being performed! I'm excited. The plays are this Friday, December 5th, at 7:30 pm at the New Theater here at ISU. COME SEE US! So yeah. That's about all I have to say about college just now. Peace out popsicles!!
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